I had a very strange dream

The other night I had a dream about Chieu Ha Do the other night. It was a very nice dream but very strange. It was like I was in Brooklyn again. I walked into their store, her and her husband's. The mood was restrained, but there were all of these people in the store buying groceries. They had so many things to buy there. The store was bigger. There were lots of wooden crates full of fresh vegetables and other produce, which they never sold at the store in my building. It wasn't a liquor and convenience store but a real grocery. I walked in and was looking at avocadoes, all of them were cut in half and very green. The shelf under it had these small boxes of a strange Vietnamese drink that I'd never had.

I approached the counter to pay for my things and she was there working behind the counter with her husband. I said, you look just like her. I thought you... She smiled and shook her head and said that she was her sister. I apologized and said that the store looked really nice and that it was nice to see it so full and then left.

...

In real life her husband was I think cleaning up the store the other night. One last time. I don't think he'll open the store up again. I wouldn't. It's really terrible to think that his wife died there in my building, in his store while he was working in the kitchen. It's horrible.

I guess I'm feeling like talking about it a little more, since other people have moved into my house. I plan to leave the city before I turn 25 which will be in May 2006. Brooklyn is a really beautiful place. So is Chicago (even though it is cold). I would really love to live in Europe but that connection hasn't made itself clear yet. I'm tired of the violence, conservativism, and poverty. I'm tired of feeling desperate. I've had to scam and be scammed so much. I'm exhausted.

The other day the store was robbed while Drue was working. She can't work nights anymore. Her nerves are shot.

I was changing my flat on Decatur by Canal at 3 am on a Saturday night after the Macrosick show. Some random guy, his name is Geoff and he is actually a very good person, offered to help me change my tire. I was a little nervous because I was wearing something scandalous, but he was telling me about how he was studying a master's in public administration and wanted to join the FBI or work for Homeland Security.

While this is happening a man gets out of his car, runs up Decatur and starts pushing and hitting this lady. She starts screaming and crying for help while he's dragging her toward the car. I tell him to stop it. He doesn't talk to me, but tells Geoff that he should change the fucking tire and mind his fucking business. I look at the tire iron next to me on the ground and think things I shouldn't think. I get up and say that I'm calling the cops. He leaves. I call a cab for her but she wanders off into the night.

Geoff tells me she was pregnant. I say, no way, I thought it was just a little belly. He says she told him 2 months.

It's been a little difficult for me to relate to others.

I suppose I was pretty close to beating a stranger with a tire iron the other night while accompanied by a future federal agent. Swell.