drama in the diarama

bbbreak up time.
cause you know that breaking up is easy to do, what they say about love, you know, it just ain't true.

there you go.

yeah. fuck that.

oh you guilty little paramecium

hey

come to my show tonight. really.

i mean it. please.

pietasm '05: the aftermath

It must needs be done, ye,

The Pierats walked away with the prize for their stunning Key Lime Pie, though I must say that the competition was close and the pies were all quite good. I will attempt to recapture the tenor of my note, though the original scoresheets from the event were destroyed lest one find them and go mad.

Here they are

1. not yer Granny's coconot cream rum mud pie

Okay, so this pie was pretty good and had a lot of elements going on. It was pretty ambitious, coconut cream, merangue topping, brownie/black bottom rum crust. The flavors were melding, it was really lovely, but it failed to deliver on consistency. It was pretty much an icebox pie that was begining to liquefy.

2. Key lime pie

If you like key lime pie this was probably your deal. The flavor of this pie was like... if you had a metal teenage daughter and agreed to go to her band's first gig at the Dixie Taverne, and it's Monday night and you've just gotten out of work and then her band starts playing something and she's screaming about how life is a piece of shit and she's going to burn the house down and there's some guy slam dancing next to you and he's just elbowed you in the teeth.

3. Lulabelle:

This pie was cover with fresh raspberries and pansies. The crust was fantastic and studded with bits of pistachio. The filling was perfect, but saddly meshed oddly with the custard filling. Otherwise utterly perfect in every way as a dessert pie. Not too sweet not too bland. Lovely.

This pie is wonderful, but unfortunately this pie is like the upstanding and beautiful girlfriend whose heart will softly be broken when she realizes that I have secretly been sneaking out to make it with the Maytag Blue tart. I will feel bad but dive on midnight highways and split a bottles of cheap booze with the Maytag Blue tart. Lulabelle, she'll wake up alone wondering where I am. I want to be better for the Lulabelle pie, I'll make promises I can't keep, tell her I'll get a better job and we'll move away from this stupid town...

4. blueberry lemon chess pie
5. sweet potatoe pie

I will not comment upon 5&6.

6. Maytag Blue and Asian Pear:
Sister Brother secret lover... Even remembering this pie approaches pornography. This pie is like ripping your clothes off in the middle of the forest, running naked and screaming obscenities and prayer for so long and so hard that your throat becomes hoarse.

SHOW ALERT SHOW ALERT!

Dear people who read this,

I apologize for my forwardness (and the bold print) and hope that I have not offended you, but I'm going to be playing my cello tonight and singing and generally making a fool of myself. If you have plans, drop them and head out to...

Eldon's Shoebox
3055 Royal St
8 pm-ish

in the Bywater, New Orleans. Sort of by the Country Club and Markey's Bar past the Press Street tracks.

Be there or B^2!

Also, Ms. Roberts and her whimsical cello will be featured with those roustabouts ("dissolute French sailors and Victorian ragdolls" -- The Gambit Weekly) about the town...
EL RADIO FANTASTIQUE!!!
with bipolaroid at One Eyed Jacks on this Friday the 25th. 9-ish!

Exclamation point!

pietasm '05: high time for pie time

awww dude,
I am totally judging a pie contest at Cafe Brasil tonight. Right the fuck on.

In case you're wondering, here are some pie-related facts that qualify me for the position:

1. I was raised in Phillipsburg, Ohio until the age of eight. Phillipsburg was a pretty unassuming place. My outstanding memories of it include the large cornfield that butted up against our front yard and the long country roads that linked the village to the rest of the world. Union, Englewood, Verona and Greenville were part of the small cluster of rural communities neighboring Phillipsburg. Union, Ohio happened to be home to a rather large religious-agrarian community related similar to the Mennonites. My mother and father said called them the Bretheran, though I'm not sure what they called themselves. The community ran a rather large butcher and sweet shop that my parents were extremely fond of. I can still remember the smell of the sugar cookies and the sour earthy odor of blood mixed together, that scent so distinct to the flourescent-lit shop where I would get my favorite chipped ham.

They made gooseberry pies, strawberry rhubarb. At the time my taste wasn't sophisticated enough to appreciate them. I went mainly for the peach and pecan...

2. They don't have pies in Thailand, but there's this stuff called canome geep, and some of them have really good crusts. No. Really good.

3. Employed in foods since the age of sixteen.

4.The legendary sweet-tooth. I spend most of my income on ridiculously fancy frou-frou sweets, drinks and savories. I tend to be label conscious, but omnivorous regarding food stuffs that meet the qualifications. Horchata, the ginger cake and tiny pies sold at cornerstore counters, church fundraiser sweets, Albertson's generic brand maple cookies, they all go into the giant masher. MASH!

In case anyone wanted to know the post office in the CBD (the one with the fascistic eagles) has a snackshop that sells homemade tiny pies. And there's a really good sweet shop by Magazine and State called Delice. The Vietnamese woman behind the counter makes a nice carmely crust. And the praline cheesecake is pretty foooiine. Yums.